Unmet Expectations

A story from the Bible dealing with unmet expectations:

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. ²⁵ And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped, and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.³⁰ At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”  ³¹ “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”  ³² But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. ³³ Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came, and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. ³⁴ He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”  Mark 5: 24b-34

Unmet expectations seem to be everywhere.  They happen over long years of struggle.  Or they come at the drop of hat!

Unmet expectations.

Relationships gone sour.

Job promotions denied.

Empty cupboards.

Dreams lost, faded in the ugliness of life.

Evenings long looked forward to, being hijacked by careless words or poor communication.

How quickly our expectations can be dashed, and then pain, sadness and disappointment follows.  O God, must our hearts be so fragile?  Must our wounds stay so close to the surface that unkindness rips them wide open again?  Must we be so quick to irritate and be irritated by each other?  Must it be such a struggle to offer the grace and forgiveness we have received from you to someone else?  Why is it that we can so readily confound and hurt the ones we love the most?

How is it so possible for things to go downhill with just a few words said – and unsaid.  Ignored for a bit!  It was supposed to be a lovely evening spent with someone close to me.  And suddenly it was not!

Unmet expectations leave their mark!

Unmet expectations.  Yes, we all have them and the wounds they inflict range from surface scratches to deep cuts.  Yet, we continue to rely on the people in our lives and in our world to do and be and act and love and speak and believe and react and treat us in a certain way!  And they often don’t.  Oh, how it hurts!

We are left with and marked by the pain and the disappointment.  Our head tells us we should stop having expectations at all - for people are bound to disappoint!  It tells us to be an island and stop putting ourselves “out there” to just get let down again!  No expectations = no disappointment.

Our heart tells us, “No!”  We need to continue to hope and expect good things to happen!  We can choose to remember on our all experiences, recalling those times when things do go well!  Our heart tells us to believe the best in people and to keep seeking good things.

There was a woman in Scripture who had unmet expectations.  We do not know her name and maybe that is for the best, for she could be anyone of us!  Mark tells us she had been subject to bleeding (menstrual bleeding) for twelve years.  What he did not tell us, (for his readers would have known), is that this bleeding made her unclean under Mosaic Law and probably lived set apart.

This woman was very alone.  No one would have wanted to be around her.  She couldn’t go out in public.  She could not go to synagogue.  Whoever or whatever she touched would be unclean as well!  She couldn’t be hugged by her family.  If you remember the COVID-19 pandemic, then imagine being isolated from your community for 12 years

Scripture also tells us that “she had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.”

Each new treatment she tried – unmet expectations.

Each new physician she went to for help – unmet expectations.

Each new remedy a wise neighbor suggested – unmet expectations.

Each day praying for a cure and healing – unmet expectations.

Each day when a friend or family member withdrew their support or

lost hope or simply left her alone – unmet expectations.

She seemed doomed to a life of isolation, ill health, and misery...Until Jesus!

Then she met Jesus!

She had heard the stories of Jesus, the reports of His teaching and His healing powers.  A glimmer of hope stirred within her.  She dared to believe that if she could just touch the hem of his garment, she would be healed.

With what I believe to be a tremendous amount of courage and faith, she pressed through the crowds, who were out in full that day to hear and be near Jesus.  She only wanted to be near enough to touch his clothes – the robe of Christ!  That day she put herself and her reputation at risk.  She was risking further ridicule, disgust, and anger from her people.

I highly value her faith-filled actions.  Would I so readily go against culture and crowds for a healing moment with the Savior?  Would lay my reputation on the line like she did? Oh, dear God, I hope so!

And what gave her the courage and the faith?  This time her expectations were not in the fickleness of man, but in God himself.  In His Son, Jesus, who came to bring healing and wholeness to people just like her.

As she touched him, “immediately her bleeding stopped, and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.”  She was healed of her disease.  She was not only healed but she was made whole as well!  Hallelujah!  Praise to the King!  Life and wholeness were hers to claim.  She had a future and all the wonderful things that could mean!

All, beloved, because she had met and encountered the One in whom our expectations are met – Jesus.

This time her expectations were not in the fickleness of man, but in God himself.

Choose to Love

Jesus.  Because of Him and His love, grace, and power in my own life, I have healed from the wounds that unmet expectations left in my heart and spirit.  I will continue to do so as new needs go unmet.  I will forgive and I will try to respond with grace – maybe after a few tears are shed!

I will not close my heart off, build a wall of protections and try to shield myself from future hurts and disappointments.  Though at times this seems a prudent step to take!  I will allow the Spirt of God to raise me up, make me whole, and keep me willing to live in love and in suffering at one time, in sync with each other.

For to love another human being in this world is to open ourselves up to be hurt and disappointed again.  We will hurt and let each other down.  We will speak unkindly or inadvertently ignore.  We will miss a chance to meet a need.  We will make selfish decisions or lash out when we are having a bad day . . . because we each come into every relationship with our own brokenness.

But, alas, the rewards and joys and wonder and fun and laughter and growth and intimacy that deeply loving another human being brings to our lives, far outweighs the unmet expectations that come along.  When we love another, we are living like Christ.  When we love another, we open that person up to experience healing of their own brokenness.

And when we choose to keep Christ at the center of that love, when we set our expectations on a risen and faithful Savior - we will not be disappointed.  For His love is constant and sure and full of grace.

And it ours for eternity – where never again will there be an unmet expectation.

Jesus still heals today--He is our Healer.  Listen to this song by Kari Jobe and bring your needs for healing and wholeness to the Lord Jesus.